You don't believe I can use you
09/06/2008 21:36
I woke up this AM amazingly tense. It seemed over and over in my mind I reminded myself what a poor son I've been in a number of ways.
Has this has ever happened to you? From time to time reflecting on past events that when you view them with fresh light you realise you fell short.
Has this has ever happened to you? From time to time reflecting on past events that when you view them with fresh light you realise you fell short.
“It's not all bad”, the Holy Spirit impressed on me, “You were at times touching on some beautiful stuff”.
Whilst normally those Words would flood me with life, I was so upset as instances flooded my mind “Who did I think I was”, I asked myself, and I didn't like the answers.
“Lord” I said, “ I have missed the mark, all too often”. I was acutely aware of my own short-comings, which manifest in interesting ways, “but Lord, I'm so keen to move forward in you, and embrace all that you have for me”. I immediately was confronted with all manner of scriptures that the Lord challenges me with, and so I said, “Lord I believe in physical healing now, The scripture you've spoken to me about, I believe, I've seen sick healed, no problem for me, my mind is being renewed as I face the supernatural.”
The response from the Lord was immediate “But you don't believe I can use you”. In typical fashion, an economy of words that got to the heart of the matter. I hadn't expected that comment. So, I did all that can be done when the Lord speaks thus, I repented – I changed my mind. I spoke it out loud and I write it here “Lord, this is the age of the ministry of all the saints. Lord we are all priests, and we have one high priest, Jesus. Jesus, both my master and friend has said 'greater things you will do'; and the 'you' includes me and thus it must be so. Lord forgive my unbelief.”
I have indeed missed the mark, but I'm also aware I have a Dad that loves me. And I'm so glad he does. If the Greeks were right and Zeus was in charge, he'd have zapped me with a lightning bolt some time ago, but they weren't. We all have a loving Dad – a 'Papa' who loves me (and you), unconditionally.
Chris Ryburn
Whilst normally those Words would flood me with life, I was so upset as instances flooded my mind “Who did I think I was”, I asked myself, and I didn't like the answers.
“Lord” I said, “ I have missed the mark, all too often”. I was acutely aware of my own short-comings, which manifest in interesting ways, “but Lord, I'm so keen to move forward in you, and embrace all that you have for me”. I immediately was confronted with all manner of scriptures that the Lord challenges me with, and so I said, “Lord I believe in physical healing now, The scripture you've spoken to me about, I believe, I've seen sick healed, no problem for me, my mind is being renewed as I face the supernatural.”
The response from the Lord was immediate “But you don't believe I can use you”. In typical fashion, an economy of words that got to the heart of the matter. I hadn't expected that comment. So, I did all that can be done when the Lord speaks thus, I repented – I changed my mind. I spoke it out loud and I write it here “Lord, this is the age of the ministry of all the saints. Lord we are all priests, and we have one high priest, Jesus. Jesus, both my master and friend has said 'greater things you will do'; and the 'you' includes me and thus it must be so. Lord forgive my unbelief.”
I have indeed missed the mark, but I'm also aware I have a Dad that loves me. And I'm so glad he does. If the Greeks were right and Zeus was in charge, he'd have zapped me with a lightning bolt some time ago, but they weren't. We all have a loving Dad – a 'Papa' who loves me (and you), unconditionally.
Chris Ryburn